I’ve got something you can hang your hat on: my erection.

“I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my c…”

“I want to direct a movie about a wrist motion, a flick.”

“A brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if …”

“Baby toys were left at my door. Either someone’s trying to get my attention, or…”