I've never sexually molested a gastropod.

“I guess that's where faith comes in, the faith of a child to believe in Santa, …”

“I'm so bored I could do something, but can't be arsed. I'm unmotivated as well …”

“I think the official name for such activity is procrastination by chocolate hob…”

“Bloody Bears, don't bother getting one as a pet, they're too demanding and they…”