I’ve spent half my life searching for the truth. The left half of my life.

“He was born after me, and he died before me. I gave him life, and I killed him.…”

“Boy, when Grandma Wrinklebottom comes to town, you’d better hide your underwear…”

“You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen.”

“The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I s…”