Keep your wife happy by living in a slightly nicer house than your neighbor. And you can do this by living in a poorer neighborhood than you ever imagined.

“Wrapped inside one is love. Wrapped inside another is hate. What do you think i…”

“The best part about vomiting is that right after you do, you can continue eatin…”

“In Jacksonville, there are more childrenless children than fatherless children.…”

“How can I clearly see what’s wrong with someone else, and then look at myself a…”