Life is short. But so are midgets.

“Obviousism—I would give you a definition, but the definition would only be an e…”

“After I’m famous, I want my statue to be made out of beige Jell-O, and I want t…”

“A car’s gas tank should be see-through, so I don’t have to rely on a possibly f…”

“My philosophy on life: On a burrito, the cheese goes underneath the sour cream.…”