Like my grandpa, who dropped out of school to farm, I have a 4th grade education. Of course, I have a college degree, too. Both require the same reading level.

“When I see a beautiful woman, my heart doesn't go "Thump, thump." It goes "Hush…”

“Tennis is a racket that I’d like to get into. It’s so bouncy and noisy it must …”

“Twitter—up to the minute minute details.”

“If silence is the admission of guilt, then she must be really guilty, because l…”