Looking at you in a mirror makes you more of an ally than an opponent, because I’m standing next to you, rather than across from you. In fact, you are across from you, so you are your own opponent. And I’ll gladly stand by your side and help you defeat yourself.

“The best part of the word "booboo" is the breast. While the word doesn't suck, …”

“I cleaned out my belly button last night, and I found the meaning of life. Gosh…”

“I was looking for a reassuring hand to hold and steady my own, and I finally fo…”

“You could get 50% wrong and you’d still get 50% right. That’s nearly half!”