Love can make people do crazy things. I once saw a man streak down Blanding Blvd. with only a banana peel stapled over his manhood. I'm not sure he was in love, but he was definitely crazy. Next time I see my dad I'll have to ask if he was in love at the time.

“Men are the fleas in the gray beard of God, and I’m just itching to meet Him.”

“My dreams, they all look like the back of my eyelids.”

“I got offended when she laughed, because she was showing pleasure, but she was …”

“I got a small package in the mail today, and I thought it was the midget stripp…”