Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup.

“What you consider gross—dead rats—I consider considerate gifts.”

“I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest.
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“If I could rotate my neck 180 degrees, like an owl, I'd go around wearing backw…”

“In the off chance I’ll be turned on, I keep a light switch in my pocket. (Who t…”