Love is as iffy as Kipling.

“My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated gran…”

“A brick and a blanket walk into a bar, and the bartender turns and says, “What …”

“I opened my wallet and gave him a coupon, hoping he’d open his wallet and give …”

“Everywhere I go, I’m second to arrive. My reputation precedes me, and sometimes…”