Love is as old as time, though it is considerably more difficult to stuff inside a watch.

“A brick could be used to crush the dreams of the little guy. Especially if that…”

“I like to schedule dentist appointments for March 32, otherwise known as April …”

“Michael Phelps collects huhs. Huh? His mouth said nothing, but his actions said…”

“You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes, like if he’s barefoot or not.”