Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my ex girlfriend’s front yard.

“Make your vote count. Be the guy responsible for counting and tallying all the …”

“I think they should combine the Summer and Winter Olympics and call it the Fall…”

“I lay warm in bed like a melted marshmallow in a graham cracker. I really wish …”

“A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football ga…”