Love is like a free lunch. You won’t find any in this life, because I had yours for breakfast.

“Somebody knocked, and I’m glad it wasn’t her. I mean I want her to come, but I …”

“Your fate is like a new jar of peanut butter. It may be sealed, but you can cho…”

“A brick could be your new best friend. If this appeals to you, it’s probably be…”

“My information is based on yesterday’s newspaper. But that’s OK, because I’m li…”