Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff.

“You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let…”

“When you're here, I'm there for you. And when you're there, I'm here for you.”

“Free pyramids! Buy one, get one half buried.”

“To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist ad. Here’s mine: F…”