Love is patient and love is kind. Damn! Why’d it have to be the two qualities I wasn’t born with?

“You can call me Dr. Love. I’ve got a PhD from Cupid University. My degree came …”

“My mashed potatoes come with a masturbation sound you pour on top, like gravy. …”

“You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes, like if he’s barefoot or not.”

“I met a man named Birthday. I didn’t tell him when I was born, because I though…”