Loyalty is for the dogs. Count me among the cats. And count me twice—once for each of my faces.

“A brick is a barometer of love. Give it to the girl of your dreams, and see if …”

“I don't know where to look for jobs, so I think I'll check out the unemployment…”

“If my love could be represented by a blur, it would be the beating of a humming…”

“I have an itch. Wait, scratch that. That’s just a tickle that comes from being …”