Money’s a tool, like a wrench, and until I make more I need to tighten my belt.

“I like when wind works. But in this depression, does anything work? If it’s not…”

“I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.”

“Your dog looks dirty. You could give it a bath, or I could piss on it for free.…”

“Are you an Is there? or a There isn’t! kind of person? I’m more of an Is there …”