Much to my delight, I found her panties to be full of mashed potatoes—but I had to supply all the gravy.

“The first man to successfully clone himself deserves to pat himself on the back…”

“We all want to be the best at something. Trouble is, some people are only the b…”

“A blanket, when taken to the top of a mountain and laid flat, could be painted …”

“I told her “Have a good weekend.” Then I thought, “Idiot. It’s Sunday night.”