Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.

“Somebody dialed the wrong number trying to reach me, but I didn’t pick up becau…”

“I remember in elementary school, Mother used to write my name on every single p…”

“English is the most dominant language in the world philosophically, culturally,…”

“A meow’s a sound I want to look at. And after I see it, I want to pet it.”