My advice is to write during commercial breaks, and read while your favorite TV show is on mute.

“1-12, how many Decembers does it take to sell thirteen to Mr. Fourteen and Mr. …”

“My wife keeps me busy while she talks—I’m not listening, but rather making the …”

“I’d never trust a surgeon who didn’t wear gloves when he operated. Even if thos…”

“I stitched an itch to my side. As far as surgeries go, I’m just barely scratchi…”