My asshole smells like chlorine, so I hope you brought some goggles.

“Hardly anybody tells the truth these days. For the truth I have to go to Washin…”

“I am approximately 96.694444% in love with you. Of course, that’s just a rough …”

“Maybe I could hear better if my ears weren’t flipped inside out. Unlike a cat’s…”

“One of my seminars is “Leadership in the 20th century: How being a century behi…”