My bed’s as big as a medium-sized apartment in New York City. And my erection is equal to a small.

“If the status quo came carbonated in a can, I’d shake things up.”

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it wa…”

“Sex and violence: the greatest duo since the Three Stooges.”

“If I could capture the rays of the sun in a can, I'd paint a canvas with it and…”