My brakes sound like my horn, and my car’s bumper is bumpy enough to be brail. My ideal reader would be a speed-reading blind politician I didn’t vote for.

“What’s with the zombie craze? Zombies are half alive, half dead, right? Sounds …”

“Age is just a number. So is my area code.
”

“In complete silence you can’t hear a thing. Just ask a deaf person—but ask them…”

“I want to create a root word where the root is “root.” Something like rootree.”