My date couldn’t make it to dinner, because at the last minute I backed down from asking her.

“-Do you see that?
-Yeah, what is it?
-That’s the truth.
-How can you tell it’s …”

“A swimming pool full of coffee would be great to jump in first thing in the mor…”

“I’m so tall I make midgets look like dwarves.”

“I made a t-shirt that says, "Today's my birthday" on it, so that I can ask for …”