My dreams, they all look like the back of my eyelids.

“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when…”

“His last name was Gum, and I wanted to chew him out. But I’ll save that for the…”

“I’d like a doggy bag to take home my leftover grilled canine burger.”

“When I say something, I mean what I say, despite what a dictionary says I mean.…”