My erection at noon causes an elongated shadow so black you’d think I was an albino.

“I did a face plant. Ivy was her name.”

“My bed’s comforter is yellow. It has to be to hide all the melted butter stains…”

“A blanket could be used like Lenny McDenny says hello. He never says hi, becaus…”

“I’m about to cross a time zone, and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling…”