My ex girlfriend said she’d never cheat on me. Well, she did—with an accountant. Now I owe money to the IRS.

“I decided not to charge you with murder, because that would require me filling …”

“A brick could be used to sell pepper to people in the salt mines. So while you’…”

“I like watching water drops drip off my eyelashes. Reminds me that I’m not the …”

“A brick could be used to crush the dreams of the little guy. Especially if that…”