My ex was the shape of a planet, and when she wore a belt, that planet was Saturn.

“In high school I attended a magnet school—for refrigerators.”

“In the future, I’ll be furniture. Step on me now or sit on me later, but either…”

“Male or female, if my name were either Don or Dawn, I’d be up at sunrise to cel…”

“I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and …”