My girlfriend just bought me a portable toaster. And my birthday’s coming up, so I’m half expecting her to buy me a portable bathtub to go along with it.

“Attorney ethics is a contradiction in terms, and its nonexistence is well docum…”

“Dating is all about getting to know somebody, without wasting a lot of time or …”

“Yes, life could be better. But it could also be worse. Don’t believe me? Allow …”

“I’d like a peach cobbler. Georgia shoemakers are tasty.”