My grandpa died yesterday. I ought to know, because I shot him. So come, join me in the fight against patricide by killing your father’s father.

“My penis is seven. Not years old or even inches. No, my genitalia is the prime …”

“The word "sex" has no sex. It is androgynous and probably asexual. And even tho…”

“I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my ca…”

“Lay on me, and let my heat escape up to you, while you’ll act as my insulation …”