My grandpa doesn’t even have a grand to his name.

“Boxes of toilet paper make the best birthday presents. They really show I give …”

“I'll bring "The Hammer," let's have a Thorsome.”

“A cop is closer to a garbage man than he is to a lawyer. The cop isn’t in the m…”

“He has one of the worst personalities. Actually, you can’t call it a personalit…”