My job is a walk in the park. I pick up dog poop for a living.

“I can’t remember the last time I had fun. Wait, yes I can. It was 1989, and I w…”

“Ten years have gone by since the ten year anniversary, and I still remember it …”

“If love were orange, like an apple, there’d be nothing to compare it to.”

“I’d hang a walrus on my wall, and I’d name him Russ. But I’m not a hunter—I’m a…”