My job is so boring I’m thinking of boring a second hole into my penis.

“I have the Denver Omelet of accents. And considering I’m from Denver, it makes …”

“Every time I eat an English muffin I feel like I become more grammatically corr…”

“Instead of a motorcycle gang, I’m thinking of starting up a unicycle gang. We’l…”

“When I was a kid, I was just a boy. But that all changed by my 18th birthday. N…”