My last phone call was totally uncalled for. Well, not totally. More like 99.88% uncalled for.

“If I were a cop, and I caught a criminal, I’d throw the book at them. A heavy b…”

“Am I going crazy, or am I the only one who can hear the silence?”

“I saw something scary. It was a boy, asking me what I’m doing naked in his fath…”

“A blanket could be used as an example for how you should make important decisio…”