My love is useful, and my love is for sale. (Batteries not included).

“I tried to make it out in the moment, while we were making out, but now I’ve go…”

“To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower wi…”

“We’re different, you and I. I am a Rorschach Test, and you, you are a butterfly…”

“The best part about bowling is pouring in the cereal and the milk. I’ve always …”