My mashed potatoes come with a masturbation sound you pour on top, like gravy. I got the recipe from Pee Wee Herman.

“I’m as American as de Tocqueville.”

“Arlington National cemetery is huge! But that’s not surprising, because DC is t…”

“We agreed to meet at 4. I meant AM and she meant PM, so we both just stood arou…”

“For breakfast I want a bowl of sugar with some corn flakes sprinkled on top. Th…”