My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were so small.

“A blanket could be used as a soggy umbrella, if you’re too cheap to buy my 360-…”

“How many seconds does it take to win second? As many as it takes to win first—i…”

“Herman is not her man. But neither am I, and I love her more than any man besid…”

“Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart.”