My penis, when inflated, does not qualify as a flotation device, no matter how much it tastes like the navy.

“A great gift would be a cheap pen, mounted on a wooden plaque, with the accompa…”

“I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag wit…”

“If I’m having sex during an earthquake, would I get a refund on all those quart…”

“If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to …”