My shadow’s so substantial that it has its own shadow. It isn’t as tall, but that’s OK, because sometimes it feels like I’m being followed by a black midget.

“I want a camera shaped like a jail, so I can capture a ghost on film.”

“A telephone cord used to make an excellent leash on people. Now metal chains wo…”

“Be proud of your work week, not your weak work. Monday-Friday you can find me w…”

“I walk like I have tornadoes for legs. Let us make love like Kansas.”