My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through the streets.

“When I visit England, I want to bring back the best souvenir an American can ge…”

“Give me a smelly hello, and a tasty goodbye. The two are connected, and without…”

“A brick and a blanket walk into a bar. And I don’t drink, so I wasn’t around to…”

“When someone asks me if I was born in a barn, I always give them a long face. A…”