My wife must be stupid. I mean, look, she married me, didn’t she?

“A brick is a mythical object that empowers its handler and enables them to conq…”

“A blanket could be used to wrap up all the love I have to offer you, so it’ll b…”

“My sex life is Ok. Specifically, Oklahoma City.”

“I’ll leave the door cracked, because cracked is better than broken.”