My wife told me she’d meet me at the mall, and I said, “Don’t be silly. We’ve already met. What, do you think I’d marry a stranger?

“If my name were Theodore Tiffany, my goal in life would be to meet and marry a …”

“A brick could be used to aid the lonely. Carry it with you, converse with it, a…”

“I have nowhere to go and no way to get there. But at least I’m not hitchhiking,…”

“I get along with everybody. You know this because everybody is a jerk, yet when…”