Noel: A lot of people see friends as something you have on Twitter or Facebook or wherever. If someone wants to read your updates and you want to read their updates, then you’re friends. You don’t ever have to see each other. But that seems like a stupid definition to me.
Roo: Yeah.
Noel: Although on the other hand, rethink. Maybe a friend is someone who wants your updates. Even if they’re boring. Or sad. Or annoyingly cutesy. A friend says, “Sign me up for your boring crap, yes indeed” – because he likes you anyway. He’ll tolerate your junk.
Roo: You have lots of friends.
Noel: No, I don’t.
Roo: You do. You know everyone at school. You get invited to parties.
Noel: I get invited to parties, yeah. And I know people. But I don’t want their updates.
Roo: Oh.
Noel: And I sincerely doubt they want mine.
Roo: I want your updates.
Noel: I want your updates. (He looks down, bashfully.) I do. I want all your updates, Ruby.
