On my recent trip to Washington DC, I wore a hat I made out of a tin funnel that I covered with fur. Why? Because I was going to where the world’s largest collection of morons were, so I figured I’d fit right in if I looked like an idiot.

“A brick could be used as a replacement for an erection. Hey, I did it in the ea…”

“I once had a professor who could condense an entire lecture into a can of froze…”

“I want to write a book called “Conversations.” Of course, it’s all talk at this…”

“A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate h…”