On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones.

“What is life without death? That's like asking what is peanut butter without je…”

“I always never leave things for the last minute. I leave them for 59 seconds.”

“Those responsible for our economic depression have been found irresponsible. Th…”

“My asshole smells like chlorine, so I hope you brought some goggles.”