One of the side effects of Viagra is blurred vision. Sounds great! When I’m taking a pill to pop a stiffy, how great is it that any woman I look at has blurred features and therefore is as beautiful as an impressionistic painting?


“My heartbeat’s so loud it’s like a tap dancer in my chest. No, it’s more like M…”

“Men are from vaginas, and women are from women.”

“I’m beside myself with excitement over my new clone standing next to me.”

“She must have said wear flip-flops, but I heard flippers. I might not have been…”