One of your siblings has got to be the dumbest. And if you’re an only child—you’re the dumb one.

“I want to meet the girl of my dreams, and then immediately try to sleep with he…”

“If love were a gesture, I don’t think it would be a gyrating pelvis. But then a…”

“A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every…”

“I want to create a root word where the root is “root.” Something like rootree.”