People don’t know I have a checkered past. I used to be a picnic table cloth.

“I never stopped loving you. I never did. I never loved you, not: I never did st…”

“Politics are like shoes. On one side you have the left, and on the other side y…”

“I just took a shit that smelled like a dentist’s office. Open your mouth.”

“To some dogs I don’t like cats, to some cats I don’t like dogs, and to some peo…”