Pepperoni looks so much like nipples that I can’t eat pizza without getting horny.

“I visited my old haunt, but somehow without all my old friends there with me, t…”

“Why do old people drive slow? They have the least amount of time left on earth,…”

“In the 48 hours following my discovery of her infidelity, I found out she’d bee…”

“She took off her red pants, the shade of ketchup, to reveal softly tanned legs,…”