Please, come in. Let me open the air conditioning vent so you can squeeze through.

“Most people like winners, but I prefer underdogs. They’re more fun to pet.”

“I ran across an old friend of mine yesterday, and I didn’t even attempt to hit …”

“It’s not: I jumped in, and it was cold. No. It was cold, and I jumped in. Alway…”

“You made me dinner, so I made myself vomit—twice. Once to clear some room in my…”